before getting serious with a guy...

2.06.2009 @ 11:59 PM♥

he should know what he wants
Any guy you’re serious about should be able to articulate his long-term goals and passions (sorry, fantasy football and Xbox don’t count). He can’t ally himself with you until he has a sense of how he envisions his life in the future...and how you fit in. “If a man has no idea what he wants to be when he ‘grows up,’ then it will be impossible for him to commit to you,” says Dobransky.

Don’t assume he’ll work things out, because when he does, you may realize his ambitions don’t mesh with yours. “This mistake has contributed to the starter-marriage phenomenon, in which couples in their 20s and 30s suddenly realize they’re going in different directions and divorce at an early age,” says Dobransky. “It’s preventable as long as you’re both clear about your plans.”

he should have a sunny outlook on life
A recent study led by the University of Oregon found that women who had upbeat partners felt more satisfied in their relationships and — this is huge — that the man’s level of optimism determined the relationship’s staying power. Not only is it nice to have someone help you see the silver lining of a situation that totally sucks, but cheerful guys are good at keeping things in perspective, so they don’t let little conflicts get to them and can go with the flow.

Along with having an optimistic POV, it’s also crucial that the guy you’re seeing can make you laugh. “It’s an important stress valve for any couple,” says Les Parrott, PhD, coauthor of Trading Places.

“Having a sense of humor helps you weather the rough patches that you’ll inevitably encounter together.” It shows that he is able to let loose and doesn’t take things too seriously. Plus, you’ll have a better time together if you can see the funny side of things.

he is open to "changing for you"
It’s true you may not be able to change a man, but a guy should want to change for you. If a facet of his behavior irks you (for example, maybe he’s not attentive enough in certain circumstances), he should be game to hear you out, listen to how you’d like him to do things differently, and then act on those suggestions. “When a guy is truly in love, he is more self-reflective and will work on the aspects of himself that bother you,” says Diana Kirschner, PhD, author of Love in 90 Days. “Studies have found that successful married couples change each other quite a bit over time.”

More important, a man needs to have the capacity to transform and grow with you — e.g., he takes an interest in going to art galleries with you, even if he’s more of a couch-and- ESPN kind of guy. “If he’s not willing to expand his interests to mesh with yours, you’re going to outpace him,” explains Kirschner. “It’s likely you’ll grow restless, and the relationship will become stale.”

he would still be a little mysterious
The beginning of a relationship is always superexciting because you’re just getting to know each other. But even after the newness wears off, it’s essential that a man keeps you guessing. “If you can never quite pin down what makes him tick, that’s actually a healthy thing,” says Kirschner.

Although at first you might feel more bonded to a guy who shares tons of personal info with you, over time, you risk losing the intrigue that pulled you to him initially. You might start to see him as more of a friend than a romantic partner.

Of course, you want him to open up about topics like his family, but he should keep some boundaries too. Relating every detail of his life (think updates on his nasty toe fungus) is relationship-killing TIME. A good gauge in the early stages of coupledom: He doesn’t spill all about his pals. “It’s an indicator that he understands how to keep things private,” says Kirschner.

--just grabbed from a bulletin post in friendster. i think it's nice, so it's here:)

Another one, NOT RELATED WITH THE ARTICLE ABOVE, I just want to make it, uhm, official? haha. just to clear issues, it's here now guys:

What was his name?
was? it's still his name now..haha:)) RR Idoy

How old was he?
he was 18, now he is 19! haha. bat puro "was"?

When was his birthday?
october 11, 1989

What color was his hair?
black

What color were his eyes?
black (i suppose) hehe:P

What religion was he?
catholic ba?hehe. but i'm sure he is a christian:)

What was his favorite color?
hala! i'm dead here!haha. i'm guessing, red?

Any siblings?
yah.i forgot kung ilan sila exactly but I do know that he has a sister then marami sila boys.haha.

When did you two meet?
officially ay nung first bloc encounter but i think i met him during the physical and medical test for UP summer pa lang, but neither of us cared.haha.nyweiz, summer 2006 or june 2006.you decide:)

Who asked who out?
haha. i couldn't remember.matagal na un eh.haha.

Where was your first date?
di ko na rin maalala.haha:)) soreeee po:P

Where was your first kiss?
haha.san nga ba?haha.

Did you meet his parents?
yep2x.:)

If so, did they like you?
i don't know, i haven't asked him.haha.

Did you meet his family?
not all. but i do want to meet his sister:)

Did they like you?
di ko rin alam.haha. better yet ask him na lang:)

Did you like them?
oo naman.haha. i had no any reason to dislike them

What was your first impression of him?
he was someone that i don't think i would want to hang out. haha. bagag face!haha.

What common activities did you do together?
pumunta sa class?haha.

Name a song that reminded you of him?
You are the one by Serendipity (un ba ung kumanta nun?haha.)

How long were you two together?
lahat2x?haha. wait.*counts* 23 months.haha. pero may cut yan ha.haha:))

Do you share the same friends?
college friends? if yes, before, yes we have almost the same friends:D pero ngaun, iba2x na eh.

Name a song that makes you think of him NOW?
wala man.haha:))

Do you miss him?
minsan.haha.:P maka-miss ang company niya.haha.

When did you just know it was over?
*ehem* haha. para safe, last year:P

How serious was it?
basta, serious.haha.

DO you love him?
oo naman.kahit until now:

Did he give you anything?
yep2x:)

Did he cheat?
nope (i hope)

Did you?
define cheating please.haha. does transference count?haha.JOKE:D

Why were you attracted to him?
lingaw kasama:P

When you met, was it love at first sight?
no

DO you ever tell him you loved him?
yes

DO you mean it?
oo naman:)

Did he ever tell you he loved you?
oo rin

Do you think he mean it?
yes

What IS so great about him?
maraming bagay man.masyadong marami para i-enumerate.haha:))

What was the sweetest thing he ever did for you?
haha.wala akong maisip na event in particular:)

Did you cry?
kelan?

Did he?
kelan nga?

When was the last kiss?
last year dn?haha.

When was the last time you saw him?
just this week, i see him sa school eh.

Did he talk to you?
yah.hi/hello.haha.

Are you jealous?
dati, oo. pero ngaun, nasanay na lang siguro ako.:)

Do you regret ever dating?
nope

Did you cry over him?
before.haha.

Do you still think about him, HONESTLY?
sometimes

Do you think you'll date again?
kung friendly date, okay lang:)

Do you think he thinks of you?
siguro naman, oo.haha.

Do you think he still has feelings for you?
ask him.haha.

Why or why not?
ask him muna nga! ang kulet mo.haha

Can you see you two together again in the future?
i don't know.

Did you share anything special?
memories?haha. corneeeee but true:D

If he asked you out right now, what would your answer be?
antok na ako.haha:)) JOKE:D right now? it's 12:30 AM in my watch, okay lang siya?!

If you had one last chance to tell him ANYTHING, what would it be?
i'd tell him my self if that last chance comes:)

one thing i learned:
i need to lower down my EQ more if i want to be a doctor.. grey's anatomy still makes me cry :(

shucks..ka-heavy ng Grey's Anatomy 5 Season 12 and 13!!!

before getting serious with a guy...

2.06.2009 @ 11:59 PM♥

2.06.2009 @ 11:59 PM♥