dr. yang

7.30.2009 @ 9:29 PM♥

I like this. :D

For once in my life, I like what this "thing" has been doing to me.

I didn't feel PAIN.
I didn't feel PITY.
I didn't feel SAD.
I didn't feel anything bad inside me.

It's as if everything that we did was just an ordinary, normal, everyday thing that we are doing. It was something that I should NOT be happy about but neither it was something that I should NOT feel really really sad for.

But I feel very satisfied right now. I don't feel really happy but I now, I feel satisfied. I think I might be getting to the that "thing" that I wanted to become. For someone like me who has a personality of getting too involved and emotional (sometimes) at some things, I think I might have been improving a LOT! Trust me, I did improve :) Before, a little tease or joke raised upon me would immediately make me shed a tear but after a lot of things I had gone through, I now know how to ride on these kinds of unconscious, half-meant insults.

I really want this to go on and on and on.
I just hope it won't stop.
I think I'm getting the hang of this.
It really makes me feel that I am maturing.



After everything, I don't like feeling anymore. Those poor cats really did help A LOT! :D Honestly, I find cats cute and amusing. But since the first day we killed a cat, I felt spacious inside me :) It was like as if all the emotions were sucked out off my body. I felt very blank. All I wanted to do was to kill and get it over with :)


That's why I really admire Dr. Cristina Yang of Grey's Anatomy. HIGH IQ, LOW EQ. It's all I really wanted right now :) Because having the ability to feel a lot of things simply SUCKS.

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July C.
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