tonight

I remember the times we spent together on those drives. We had a million questions all about our lives. I remember the days we spent together were not enough and it used to feel like dreamin' except we always woke up. Never thought not having you here now would hurt so much. Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up. I need your loving hands to come and pick me up. And every night I miss you I can just look up and know the stars are .holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you tonight.

Never let me hear this song EVER AGAIN if you don't want to see a Danielle Crumb shedding a tear in front of you. I haven't literally lost a loved one (a.k.a. boyfriend) or someone too close to my heart but I know how it feels to be left alone. The feeling really sucks. It's as if you wanted to die right then and there. You'd wish that you never existed. You'd be able to think of thoughts on how to disappear in this world. Your heart, it would feel as if it was so heavy that anytime it could just drop to your stomach. Oh, and another plus, you'd begin to write emo-ish phrases, thoughts and more stupid whatever stuffs.

Anyhow, it does hurt a lot. Remembering the memory of me going through that phase in my life makes me want to cry all over again. I may have gotten over the incident, the memories but the being able to recall on how does it feel to be in that position is really hurtful.



continuation...
I thought he was the one. When with him, I had all the fun and the laughter that I could have. Being together was like we dominated the world, not knowing other people still exists around us. My friends have told me that I was just over infatuated with him but I don't believe them. I mean, who was I then? They were right, I was just over infatuated with him because our relationship was still young. My friends and I even fought real bad. I even ditched my own friends for the reason that I always believe on what he says to me. But then, after all the stupid scenarios, I realized that the joke was on me.

I was right. He was just a lot like his friends.

It was a Friday night and we were suppose to have a date. A small dinner to celebrate an entire week of professionalism but he cancelled it due to some reasons I couldn't understand but I tried to be considerate. However, my bestfriend knew about this and she brought me for a night out between the two of us, to catch up with things.

Hazel: C'mon Tamara, it's Friday and every piece of exam in school is done. It's not because he ditched you for a dinner date doesn't mean that you have to remain sad inside your dormitory.

Tamara: You don't know how it feels. I've been waiting for this dinner date all week and a few minutes away, he'd cancel it just like that. I could really hate him right now.

Hazel: You SHOULD hate him right now. You're pathetic Tam. I'm calling the others and we'll have an all girls night out SLASH reunion!

Tamara: Uhm, you know, I think I might not come...

Hazel: No excuses Tam. Now get ready before you piss me off with, uhm, with that thing you're doing right now.

to be continued...