Lub-Dub, Lub-Dub, Lub-Dub

2.16.2009 @ 4:45 PM♥

February 16, 2009
Defense Day
the most horrifying day of my 2nd sem., AY 08-09 existence
the day that I would finally know if I'd be able to proceed to the Molecular Biology Laboratory or not
the day that I thought I would die (char lang)

4 am.
While some people in the same date time are beginning to wake up, I on the other hand, was still on the verge of sleeping. Unfortunately, due to the excitement that I felt because of the fact that I was able to finish my "script" made my adrenaline levels to rise up thus preventing me to feel sleepy. So there, I allowed my mind to wander for about 25 minutes before I finally dozzed-off to sleep.

8 am (or somewhere in between)
I heard the Grey's Anatomy-ish beeps of my phone. I opened my eyes slowly and to my surprise, it was a hell of day light intercepting right into my window. It looks a lot like 6:30 or 7 in the morning. I got my phone, remembering that I received a message. So there, "1 Message Received", then I looked up on the upper right hand corner of the screen: 7:54 am.

WTF?!

I SHOULD BE AT SCHOOL BY 8am for my mock defense!

8:45 am
Location: Greenmeadows, Mintal
I was looking at the previous drafts of the outline I made for my advisers. I tried to look at all the papers that I had and tried to check if I had left something at home.

"Hindi ko na man siguro kelangan ng own copy ng aking outline, I know it by heart naman eh..."

"Iyong form thingy, pede ako magpa-print kay sir jong if ever they really need it" (Haha. Sige na lang gud!)

Hmmmm..

What else?!

Recall.

Recall.

Recall.

"Bring this form on your defense ha..."

OH SH*T! Iyong application form for outline defense, kelangan iyon! It has the signatures of all my panelists in it.

POTEK.

So I had to go back home and get that f*ckin' form. Good thing may "shuttle service" ang mga HH at Uraya, so I was able to go back and forth from Mintal-House-Kanluran in just 25 minutes! (Amazing noh?!) And yeah, it cost me a hundred bucks. SH*T!

9:45 am
I got dressed up in that business formal wear that they were requiring. Walked around the corridors to calm myself a bit. And oh yeah, thanks to Jane (fudtek) for the tali of my hair. Anyways, I met Dr. Abad along the corridor too and he stared at me for a long while, then I when I asked him "Sir, bkt?" he then said, "Nanibago ako ah, para tayong nasa Makati." Haha. Blame my fashion guru a.k.a. Sir Jong for that. Haha. Then, Dr. Bastian came out of nowhere and suddenly said, "Kumpleto na panelists mo diba? You can start first na lang,"

WOAH.

Okay.

So I asked them to give me five minutes to gather my panelists and I'll start. So I went first off to Ma'am Mayang, then Ma'am Nalangan and then to Ma'am Ching. Then, though he isn't a panelist, I also had to fetch Sir Jong.

Since on the verge of the moment, I just wanted to scream my heart out. Kulba ang feeling pero parang ayaw siya i-express ng aking body. Basta, masikip mag-breathe and I felt like crying, SUPER! So I got down to the lobby and when I looked to my left, I saw Wilson wearing his labgown and hairnet. So hayun, tinawag ko and took the time remaining in the five minutes that I asked to rant some of the things that I think I am feeling at the moment. But then again, it was very hard for me to breathe and to talk due to the said circumstances.

So, there. Talk. Talk. Talk. Before leaving, I told him that naiiyak ako but he said, kaya iyan! Go! Go! Go! haha. He gave me a pat on the back and wished me luck (maybe it was the nth time he said those phrases within 24 hours. haha).

So I walked toward the CR (the one near the MOlBio Lab) and before reaching it, I suddenly felt a tear falling from one of my eyes. I got my hanky, immediately wiped it away before anyone sees me then proceeded to the CR to compose myself.

Haha. It was funny. I actually shed a tear. I think I got scared because for the first time in my life, I am facing this challenge alone and I have to do it alone and one wrong move could change things in my life (like pag di ma-approve ang outline, pede akong ma-extend). So yeah, I got scared. But what else should I do? They are all up there, waiting for me to begin my presentation.

So I went up. Got into the room and gave them all a big smile.

Here's ME. Trying to laugh all the things that happened during the defense. I couldn't also figure out why I was just laughing. It was not a traumatic experience for me though. Haha. It was FUN!

ngano man pud ko diri sa naay "no smoking" na sign nag-pose oi...

Another, this are the words that kept me going for the rest of the weekend:

"kaya lagi yan!
as in!
go go go!
ahuh yeah!
go
go
go!
kaya!
wag kang aayaw, think positive..."

And these were the words God made Wilson to compose specifically for me so that I could wake up in the morning:

"Ngaun pa gud aq magpunta ng mintal. Hahaha. God bless sa iyo mya!"

HAHA.

Wilson, thank you so much talaga! Promise, SAVIOR JUD KA SA AKONG LIFE TODAY. haha. I know, you also have your own pieces of challenges, and I'll tell you likewise. Kaya iyan! Kaya natin to! Pagsubok lang ito ni Lord. Weeeee! AJA! :D

Salamat :)

Lub-Dub, Lub-Dub, Lub-Dub

2.16.2009 @ 4:45 PM♥

2.16.2009 @ 4:45 PM♥