what hurts the most

EVERY TIME I hear this song in my playlist, it would always remind me of the pain I felt way back then. Even though the song before this could be as alive and as happy as 3 by B. Spears, my heart won't miss to skip a beat (or tw0) once the chorus of this song would begin to play.

"When you can't remember why you're hurt, that's the time you're already healed." -from a friend.

I know what hurt me but I can't seem to remember the exact reason why. All I could remember is a particular situation, but not a particular reason. I might be healed (and I think I really am) already but that doesn't stop me from remembering the pain I felt during that time. Probably, it was one of the worst I have ever felt and swear, I never want to feel it again THAT WORSE because pain, like any other feelings, is inevitable. Even in its simplest form, we always feel pain. I guess it would all depend on how you handle it. Some people handle it well while some people handle it badly. And of course, we want to handle it well, right?

Pano na lang kung, "never knowin', what could've been and not seein' that lovin' you...is what I was tryin' to do.."??? Haaaaayyy. Maka-hurt isipin. Tsk3. Makawala talaga ng mood ang song na ito, my heart would skip a beat, then speeds up, then I could remember how the pain felt and it would make me feel bad and sad for a moment or so, tas I'd need something to make me happy again..at home, i'd look for movies, movies where people's lives are more messed up than mine para lang marealize ko that my experience wasn't so bad at all, i'd watch lots of movies until I would fall asleep while the movie is still playing..see? so exhausting! di na ako maka-concentrate with the people around me, di pa talaga ako maka-perform ng academic stuff well. tsk3. So dear little heart, the next time you hear this song, please ignore na lang ha? makulbaan man gud ko ug samot kung mukalit lang ka stop ug beat..dugay pa jud ka mu-stop ug palpitate. Basta heart, remember, the next time, increase dopamine levels lng ha kay dili na ko gusto i-remember ang feeling.