i have no right

5.16.2008 @ 2:12 PM♥

As what Mon may have put it, "waaaaa.inamin mo rin na affected ka?"

I might admit it that in some way, I am also a bit affected with these happenings around me but I guess, after all, I simply have no right to do so.

In the first place, all what is happening is not really proper. I have a special friend who is waiting for me to be out of this nonsense, complete with his faith and love. Then, I broke the rules which simply means that it would be a little less possible for me to come out of this tunnel with my promises.

I then decided to pull away myself from this nonsense and actually find a way to make sure that I get out of the tunnel quickly. But then, another person came, who apparently has the same situation as mine (that this person also needs to go out of the tunnel carrying the same goods) who began to steal the spotlight (as what I think I am seeing). Then I get jealous of her for doing so. But then again, I thought that I don't have a right to be jealous of her and my spotlight because, in the first place, I did the same thing that she is doing right now.

If I get mad at her or feel awkward about it, should I be more mad and feel bad about myself than her. For maybe, she looked up to me that if I was allowed to do it, then maybe, she could do the same thing to. Therefore, it all sums up that I appear as the wrong model for this sort.

But then, I still can't find any reasons on why I should be mad about myself. I was just being real.

Then by this being real of mine, ended up by letting everyone believe that I am fine. I just ended being fake.

*sad life*

i have no right

5.16.2008 @ 2:12 PM♥

5.16.2008 @ 2:12 PM♥