Confessions V.1

4.01.2013 @ 7:35 PM♥

I’ve been wanting to leave the apartment (JaroPen) since NOVEMBER but I keep on telling myself na, “masasanay din ako.. magiging ok lang ito..” but then one conflict started, then another, and then another. Then it seemed na ang bahay won’t be complete if walang conflicts and its emotionally tiring to go home every afternoon or every night knowing that things are not alright. Yes, we don’t have the same way of thinking but it does not mean that either one of us is always WRONG. If you can stay in the house thinking na “ok lang na uy..wala kaso ah” well then, good for you. But I’m a different person and I have a different way of dealing things. I know you don’t understand that but in reality, I’m NOT OKAY WITH IT and you cannot force me on what I SHOULD FEEL. So I left the house because primarily of “relationship” reasons. Why force myself to live in a place where I can’t be at peace with myself and with the people around me, eh pwede naman akong umalis and be in a place where I can grow and be a medical student peacefully. And I believed that if I leave, it won’t really change anything sa bahay except for the fact that the rent you have to pay will increase. So oo, magulo ang bahay, madumi at makalat. Minsan maingay. Masikip. Not well-ventilated kaya pag nagkasakit ang isa, nagkakasakit lahat. May nagdadala ng lalake, pinapapasok pa sa kwarto ng mga girls. Oo. Reklamador ako pero nagbabayad ako sa bahay ng rent, ng tubig, kuryente at internet so kahit papano, may right din ako sa bahay kahit konte. And I know you would say the same things too. Kaya we had the rules, para hindi tayo magkagulo. But it seems that you disregard it lang. I don’t care if you get to read this now or anytime soon but one thing I’m sure of is that you are going to make a fuss about this, call everyone in front of the computer, read it out loud. Okay, do that. But don’t come up to me then say, “Juls, pede mag-talk ta” coz I really WON’T. You want the truth? Heto ang truth. If you can’t handle it, then that’s your problem and truth is, I’m not even sorry for saying this.
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July C.
UP Biology Student
soon to be a doctor
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