Confessions V.1

4.01.2013 @ 7:35 PM♥

I’ve been wanting to leave the apartment (JaroPen) since NOVEMBER but I keep on telling myself na, “masasanay din ako.. magiging ok lang ito..” but then one conflict started, then another, and then another. Then it seemed na ang bahay won’t be complete if walang conflicts and its emotionally tiring to go home every afternoon or every night knowing that things are not alright. Yes, we don’t have the same way of thinking but it does not mean that either one of us is always WRONG. If you can stay in the house thinking na “ok lang na uy..wala kaso ah” well then, good for you. But I’m a different person and I have a different way of dealing things. I know you don’t understand that but in reality, I’m NOT OKAY WITH IT and you cannot force me on what I SHOULD FEEL. So I left the house because primarily of “relationship” reasons. Why force myself to live in a place where I can’t be at peace with myself and with the people around me, eh pwede naman akong umalis and be in a place where I can grow and be a medical student peacefully. And I believed that if I leave, it won’t really change anything sa bahay except for the fact that the rent you have to pay will increase. So oo, magulo ang bahay, madumi at makalat. Minsan maingay. Masikip. Not well-ventilated kaya pag nagkasakit ang isa, nagkakasakit lahat. May nagdadala ng lalake, pinapapasok pa sa kwarto ng mga girls. Oo. Reklamador ako pero nagbabayad ako sa bahay ng rent, ng tubig, kuryente at internet so kahit papano, may right din ako sa bahay kahit konte. And I know you would say the same things too. Kaya we had the rules, para hindi tayo magkagulo. But it seems that you disregard it lang. I don’t care if you get to read this now or anytime soon but one thing I’m sure of is that you are going to make a fuss about this, call everyone in front of the computer, read it out loud. Okay, do that. But don’t come up to me then say, “Juls, pede mag-talk ta” coz I really WON’T. You want the truth? Heto ang truth. If you can’t handle it, then that’s your problem and truth is, I’m not even sorry for saying this.

this is not supposed to be this awkward :|

8.11.2012 @ 8:32 PM♥

Living far from home was one of the things that I ever wanted to do. When finally my parents allowed me to leave home, I was so happy but morning of my departure from my hometown, that's the time it started getting hard :( I wish people around me would be friendlier and more sensitive. Ang hirap maging mabait if they can't reciprocate it for you.. nakakapagod, pero dahil ganun ang nature ng personality ko, lagi akong nasasaktan.. ayoko naman mag-transform ng isang monster, hindi ko gawain un :( I really want to go home to Davao now and be with my friends :(

The One That Got Away Source: The Manila Times By: Mark J. Macapagal

4.07.2012 @ 11:22 AM♥

In your life, you’ll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There’s the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you’re with…and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away? I guess it’s that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn’t fall the right way, I suppose.

I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and
commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.

How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you’re not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn’t matter who you’re with, it just doesn’t work. Small problems become big; inconsequentials become dealbreakers simply because you’re not ready and it shows. It’s not that you and the person you’re with are no good; it’s just that it’s not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you’re ready. You really are. And when this happens you’ll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it’ll work because you’re ready. It’ll work because it’s the right time and you’ll make it work. And it’ll make sense, it really will.

So that day comes when you’re finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and you’ve become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there’s no telling when this day will come. Hopefully you’re single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn’t matter. All you know is that you’ve changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about.
You’ll think about them because you’ll wonder, “What if they were here today?” You’ll wonder, “What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?” That’s what the one that got away is. The biggest “What if?” you’ll have in your life.

If you’re married, you’ll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you’re mature enough to realize that you’re already with the one you’re with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you’ll think about him/her every so often, but it’s alright. It’s never nice to live with a “might have been,” but it happens.

Maybe the one that got away is the one who’s already married. In which case it’s the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you’re old and gray and reminiscing.
But if neither of that is the case, then it’s different. What do you do if it’s not yet too late? Simple…find him, find her. Because the very existence of a “one that got away” means that you’ll always wonder, what if you got that one?

Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie, it doesn’t matter if you’ve dropped in from out of nowhere. You’d be surprised, you just might be “the one that got away” as well for the person who is your “the one that got away.”

You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won’t make a difference. If the timing is finally right, it’ll all just fall into place somehow and you know, I’m thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone, “Hey you, you’re the one that almost got away.”


2.28.2012 @ 11:35 PM♥

Scenario: Me, trying to support my friend because he was drunk. While supporting him, we ended up standing really close to one another, face to face. He was holding me by the waist, I was holding his arms. And as much as possible, I was trying to avoid his face by just looking at the floor.

Him: July, kabalo man ko ba na ganahan ka...
Me: Huh?
Him: Ganahan man pud ko ba, pero naa man gud tay mga uyab.
Me: Uhm, kanang, feel nimo kana ang akong gina-isipi karon?
Him: O.. unsa pa man diay?
Me: Ang ako lang concern kay i-make sure na makalakaw ka by yourself safely padulong sa hometel..mao na gina-support taka..
Him: Ha? kana jud ang imong gina-huna2x karon?
Me: Oo.. unsa pa man dapat diay?
Him: Maka-uli man ko ug hometel, kaya man nako
Me: Sige daw, kung kaya nimo mulakaw ug straight, then pwede na ka muuli sa hometel na dili ko mag-worry na ma-unsa ka..

Then he tried release from the grip. He started walking on a normal manner, went out of the gate then he looked back at me.

Him: O diba, kaya man nako. Ok pa lagi ko.
Me: Aw. kaya mo naman pala eh. Sige, uwi ka na. Good night, Bye!

He looked at me with a perplexed face. I just smiled at him, closed the gate and went up the stairs.

Sorry dude, you clearly don't know me very well. I can seduce you, because I just want to troll and play with you, but in the end, I can easily leave you hanging. Don't underestimate me. I can play this game waaaaay better than you. So be careful who you are dealing with.


1.29.2012 @ 3:24 AM♥

It's a little sad that he couldn't remember what happened. But it's also a good thing that he doesn't have to linger on that moment, or else, worse will come to worst :(

iloilo :(

12.27.2011 @ 11:49 PM♥

I seriously want to go back to Iloilo, A SAP!

At least there, I only have to face two problems:

1. How to get sleep for 4-6 hours a night.
2. How not to flunk the next exam.

Dito sa Davao, andaming kelangan isipin! Nakaka-irita na :(

may secret ako...

11.21.2011 @ 11:10 PM♥

wala naman ata masyadong nakakaalam nitong blog na ito
meron sigurong konte, pero feeling ko nakalimutan na nila..haha

magkukuwento ako ng secret..
pero wag niyo itong ipagkalat ha?hehe

nung unang weekend ko dito sa iloilo, nung pag-2nd sem na, kami ay na-bored..
kasi naman dumating ako ng friday.. pagkatapos wala pa talagang klase pagka-lunes
sabado't linggo kaming na-bored..

nung linggo ng gabi.. naghahanap ng makakasama sa pagkain ng hapunan ang dalawa kong classmates at former boardmates na sila P at L..
sabi ko, nasa simbahan pa ako.. pero nagutom sila, at na-una na lang kumain
matapos ang misa, tinext ko sila ng "shot na lang daw ta unya, game?"

at hayun, game naman sila!

nag-simula ang gabi na kaunti pa lang kami..
ako, si Pat L, si M at ang roommate ko.

oo nga pala,
si roommate ay nag-promise kay T na hindi na xa iinom ulet..
kasi nung huling dalawang beses na nalasing siya, hindi kanais-nais ang kanyang mga pinanggagawa..
mejo rated R..hehe

nag-simula na..
at naubos na namin ang isang bote ng boracay rhum
paalala: hindi ito masarap, o baka depende lang sa panlasa niyo..

syempre, ako iyong tanggera, hindi ako nalasing, sila lang! >:))

bumili kami ulet ng bagong maiinom, at dumating na rin ang dalawa pa naming inaantay.. si R at si J..
si J ay babae naming kaibigan

nung malalim na ang gabi, nalasing na sila ng tuluyan..
at ayaw na nilang umuwi
pero ako, gusto ko.. gusto kong matulog sa aking kama..

si J at si roommate (syempre) ay sumama na sa akin sa pag-uwi
nung nasa kwarto na, gusto nilang tumabi sa akin..
sabi ko naman, ayoko.. dahil lasing sila..
kahit babae sila, natatakot pa rin ako sa mga posibleng nilang gawin sa akin

so nag-latag ako ng banig para maging tatlo na separate na higaan ang nasa kwarto.

nasa kama ko si J..
nasa sahig si roommate..
ako nasa bed ni isa pang roommate..wala pa kasi siya..

mga bandang alas tres y media na kami natulog..
akala ko magiging tuloy2x na ito..
kelangan ko ng tulog dahil may meeting pa kami sa research kinaumagahan..

sa gitna ng pagtulog ko,
ako ay nagising
dahil may naririnig ako ng tawa ng babae.. iyong tipong kinikilig ba..
sabi ko pa, parang si roommate at J pa un ah..
ba't gising pa sila?

so dahan2x kong inikot ang ulo ko sa kama ni J.. (nakatalikod kasi ako sa kanila)
aba, pag-tingin ko..wala nang tao sa kama ko..
so dahan2x ko pang iginalaw ang ulo at katawan ko para tingnan si roommate..
at hayun, andun na si J! magkatabi sila..
naisip ko na, OK, baka nag-uusap lang..

sinubukan kong matulog ulet..

pero maya't-maya..nag-tatawanan na naman sila
tas matatahimik ng matagal..
pagkatapos ay tatawa ulet!

kinabahan ako sa mga pangyayari..
pero gusto kong masigurado..baka kasi kung ano2x lang ang naiisip ko..

at dinahan-dahan ko ulet ang pag-ikot ng ulo at katawan ko..

at HALA, ako'y nagulat sa aking nakita!
si roommate, nakapatong na kay J!
gumagalaw2x pa ang ulo!
di ko nga lang ma-tiyak kung ang ulo ba ni roommate ay nakatapat sa ulo ni J o sa ibang parte na ng katawan.

di ko kinaya ang nakita ko..
nandidiri ako sa kanila
naisip ko nga na iba talaga ang naidudulot ng kalasingan... tsk3.

nag-patuloy ito hanggang sa suminag na ang araw..
at nakapag-pahinga na ako simula nun..

at ilang araw lumipas nung nangyary,
na-kompirma ko na hindi sila lasing
at naalala nila ng maayos ang pangyayari..
hindi ba sila nandidiri sa kanilang ginawa?

kaya ngayon, umiba talaga ang pakikitungo ko kay roommate..
nakilala ko kasi siya bilang masiyahin at inosenteng tao.
mahilig siyang mag-"puppy eyes" pag inaasar
mahilig din siyang magpa-cute paminsan-minsan
bagay naman din sa kanya kasi maliit siya na babae..

pero ngayon, ibang-iba na ang tingin ko sa kanya
nawala na ang respeto ko sa kanya bilang isang tao..
ni ayaw ko na nga siyang makasabay sa paglalakad, sa pagkain o makatabi lang man sa klase..
nandidiri na ako sa kanya..
dahil napaka-pretentious niya..
nagsinungaling pa siya sa akin na matapos nung pangatlong inuman, nag-behave daw siya..

inis na inis talaga ako..
ayoko sa mga taong tulad niya.. sinungaling at mapag-panggap..

balang-araw, sasabihin ko sa kanya ang pangyayaring ito
para malaman niya kung bakit umiba ang pakikitungo ko sa kanya..

kung nabasa niyo man ito,
heto na nga katotohanan..
pasenxa na lang...

it's better

11:02 PM♥

In life, I learned that if you can't say something nice, better not say something at all... tulad kanina:

nagising si roommate no. 2...
si roommate no. 1 ay nag-fefacebook...
ako naman, nagbabasa este minememorize ang notes para sa exam bukas..

bigla silang nagkwentuhan sa tapat nung laptop
tungkol ata sa mga facebook pictures o kung ano pa man un..

hindi tuloy ako makapag-concentrate..

so kesa pagsabihan ko sila na manahimik na lang (at sa ganung paraan ako pa iyong magmumukhang KJ), kinuha ko na lang ang aking notes at nag-walk out..

dun na ako sa labas ng kwarto nag-aral..mas tahimik pa!

pagbalik ko ng kwarto, tulog na ulet si roommate no. 2..
si roommate no. 1 ay nanahimik na ulet.
pero maya't-maya, kakanta..
eh napakatulis ng boses nia.. so talagang nakaka-irita sa tenga

buti na nga lang ay ibang kanta na ang kinakanta niya ngayon
mantakin niyo, simula nung biyernes, firework at waking up in vegas lang iyong kinakanta nia O_o

di ko alam kung na-iinsulto siya sa ginagawa ko..
pero sa tuwing kumakanta siya, nag-eearphones na lang ako..
tas ako naman iyong KAKANTA!

naabot na kasi ata nila threshold ko..

ang konklusyon,

Medskul *round 1*

10.24.2011 @ 12:03 PM♥

If I get to have a free time soon, I'll be sharing to you the things that I learned while studying medschool for half a year :)

Stay tuned!

because I want this :)

7.16.2011 @ 9:45 PM♥

and I'm not giving up :D
July C.
UP Biology Student
soon to be a doctor
happy in ♥

find me on:
twitter / facebook / multiply / tumblr


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previous posts
Confessions V.1 || this is not supposed to be this awkward :| || The One That Got Away Source: The Manila Times By:... || WOAH! || It's a little sad that he couldn't remember what h... || iloilo :( || may secret ako... || it's better || Medskul *round 1* || because I want this :) ||

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