LOVE knows no boundaries...

2.22.2009 @ 8:16 PM♥

...if it is really LOVE.

Just like Pyramus and Thisbe (from Shakespeare's Midsummer Night's Dream), that great wall that separates them never became a hindrance in allowing their feelings to be felt by one another. However, it wasn't the wall that killed them, it was that Lion (did I get the animal right?) and the bloody veil of Thisbe. Similar to Romeo and Juliet, one killed himself upon knowing that the other one was dead. Beside their death area (which is near the wall), it was said that their blood was absorbed by this certain tree that grows white berries, then in this mystic world, the white berries became red due to the absorption of blood, so it became red and known to be JUJUBE.

So now, I prefer Pyramus and Thisbe better than Romeo and Juliet, though both love stories are really stupid in my own viewpoint. Haha.

And another thing:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLOG!
FYI: my blog was born last February 22, 2008.
So, if you know your math, one year old na siya! Yay!

So once again, I ask:

Pyramus and Thisbe, are we?

wat d HELL?

2.20.2009 @ 9:02 PM♥

For this semester, this must have been my most exhausting and depressing week the most! Since Sunday night until Friday afternoon, all the things that happened had been putting me DOWN! Everyday, I faced a series of "challenges" that drained both my PHYSICAL and MENTAL (pede pud PSYCHOLOGICAL) energies. Defense + exams + sleepless nights and days = MURDER of my inner peace and happiness :(

But nonetheless, I had survived (though I wasn't 'that' satisfied with the outcome of some), the point is, I got through this week without thinking of getting a suicidal act (but I did end up walking along the CSM corridors this Friday afternoon saying, "gusto nako mandunggab ug tao! maski kinsa pede!" and I even told Daniel N. "Dan, kng may dying sa med mission, pede nako siya dunggabon? gusto jud nako mandunggab ug tao karon," Haha. Yeah. How horrifying it is to think about that kind of thought.

Anyway, just to clear everything, no one got stabbed, okay?

I also decided to listen to Sir Jong's Chem 17 class last Friday, uhm, night. Chem 17 lessons do really make me happy! Among the Chem courses, this is my favorite course the most. So there, I was in my happy place for an hour (or so) and yeah, some of my depressions disappeared (yay!).

And oh, another thing. I gave myself a 24-hour call of no-academic-related activities. I need to relax my right side of the brain. It had been dying to be used the entire week, so I'm using it for the next 24 hours and that is through sleeping. Haha.

"Classes will dull your minds and destroy potential for authentic creativity.."
-A Beautiful Mind (2001)

Lub-Dub, Lub-Dub, Lub-Dub

2.16.2009 @ 4:45 PM♥

February 16, 2009
Defense Day
the most horrifying day of my 2nd sem., AY 08-09 existence
the day that I would finally know if I'd be able to proceed to the Molecular Biology Laboratory or not
the day that I thought I would die (char lang)

4 am.
While some people in the same date time are beginning to wake up, I on the other hand, was still on the verge of sleeping. Unfortunately, due to the excitement that I felt because of the fact that I was able to finish my "script" made my adrenaline levels to rise up thus preventing me to feel sleepy. So there, I allowed my mind to wander for about 25 minutes before I finally dozzed-off to sleep.

8 am (or somewhere in between)
I heard the Grey's Anatomy-ish beeps of my phone. I opened my eyes slowly and to my surprise, it was a hell of day light intercepting right into my window. It looks a lot like 6:30 or 7 in the morning. I got my phone, remembering that I received a message. So there, "1 Message Received", then I looked up on the upper right hand corner of the screen: 7:54 am.

WTF?!

I SHOULD BE AT SCHOOL BY 8am for my mock defense!

8:45 am
Location: Greenmeadows, Mintal
I was looking at the previous drafts of the outline I made for my advisers. I tried to look at all the papers that I had and tried to check if I had left something at home.

"Hindi ko na man siguro kelangan ng own copy ng aking outline, I know it by heart naman eh..."

"Iyong form thingy, pede ako magpa-print kay sir jong if ever they really need it" (Haha. Sige na lang gud!)

Hmmmm..

What else?!

Recall.

Recall.

Recall.

"Bring this form on your defense ha..."

OH SH*T! Iyong application form for outline defense, kelangan iyon! It has the signatures of all my panelists in it.

POTEK.

So I had to go back home and get that f*ckin' form. Good thing may "shuttle service" ang mga HH at Uraya, so I was able to go back and forth from Mintal-House-Kanluran in just 25 minutes! (Amazing noh?!) And yeah, it cost me a hundred bucks. SH*T!

9:45 am
I got dressed up in that business formal wear that they were requiring. Walked around the corridors to calm myself a bit. And oh yeah, thanks to Jane (fudtek) for the tali of my hair. Anyways, I met Dr. Abad along the corridor too and he stared at me for a long while, then I when I asked him "Sir, bkt?" he then said, "Nanibago ako ah, para tayong nasa Makati." Haha. Blame my fashion guru a.k.a. Sir Jong for that. Haha. Then, Dr. Bastian came out of nowhere and suddenly said, "Kumpleto na panelists mo diba? You can start first na lang,"

WOAH.

Okay.

So I asked them to give me five minutes to gather my panelists and I'll start. So I went first off to Ma'am Mayang, then Ma'am Nalangan and then to Ma'am Ching. Then, though he isn't a panelist, I also had to fetch Sir Jong.

Since on the verge of the moment, I just wanted to scream my heart out. Kulba ang feeling pero parang ayaw siya i-express ng aking body. Basta, masikip mag-breathe and I felt like crying, SUPER! So I got down to the lobby and when I looked to my left, I saw Wilson wearing his labgown and hairnet. So hayun, tinawag ko and took the time remaining in the five minutes that I asked to rant some of the things that I think I am feeling at the moment. But then again, it was very hard for me to breathe and to talk due to the said circumstances.

So, there. Talk. Talk. Talk. Before leaving, I told him that naiiyak ako but he said, kaya iyan! Go! Go! Go! haha. He gave me a pat on the back and wished me luck (maybe it was the nth time he said those phrases within 24 hours. haha).

So I walked toward the CR (the one near the MOlBio Lab) and before reaching it, I suddenly felt a tear falling from one of my eyes. I got my hanky, immediately wiped it away before anyone sees me then proceeded to the CR to compose myself.

Haha. It was funny. I actually shed a tear. I think I got scared because for the first time in my life, I am facing this challenge alone and I have to do it alone and one wrong move could change things in my life (like pag di ma-approve ang outline, pede akong ma-extend). So yeah, I got scared. But what else should I do? They are all up there, waiting for me to begin my presentation.

So I went up. Got into the room and gave them all a big smile.

Here's ME. Trying to laugh all the things that happened during the defense. I couldn't also figure out why I was just laughing. It was not a traumatic experience for me though. Haha. It was FUN!

ngano man pud ko diri sa naay "no smoking" na sign nag-pose oi...

Another, this are the words that kept me going for the rest of the weekend:

"kaya lagi yan!
as in!
go go go!
ahuh yeah!
go
go
go!
kaya!
wag kang aayaw, think positive..."


And these were the words God made Wilson to compose specifically for me so that I could wake up in the morning:

"Ngaun pa gud aq magpunta ng mintal. Hahaha. God bless sa iyo mya!"

HAHA.

Wilson, thank you so much talaga! Promise, SAVIOR JUD KA SA AKONG LIFE TODAY. haha. I know, you also have your own pieces of challenges, and I'll tell you likewise. Kaya iyan! Kaya natin to! Pagsubok lang ito ni Lord. Weeeee! AJA! :D

Salamat :)

i want...

2.13.2009 @ 4:34 PM♥

It seems that this is a new feeling and still, I never liked it. I know how it felt in the past and I swore that I never want to feel it again. It hurt like, uhm, hell? haha. But seriously, my heart has been beating this weirdly the past few hours. I want it to stop. Please, will you let it stop?

But the good side of it, I got it directly from you and not from some another person. That really made me feel that I was indeed special in your life especially when you told them that . . .

Maybe, I'll just sing my heart out. Haaay.

"wait lang, important ni..."



I do. Oh yes, I do! July, you've got 5 months to decide :(

warped

2.09.2009 @ 8:00 PM♥

Though the field trip of MST 6 was useless (in a way that it wasn't really required), I still had fun and had experienced a lot of another set of FIRSTs in life.

There was a video presentation shown to us about water being more precious than diamond in the next 50 years wherein girls had to shave their heads so that they won't have to waste water just to wash it. And that a glass/gallon of water is part of the salary of a person and also, a half glass of water would be the maximum water intake of people. Know what?! We felt that almost exact feeling! We had no water source for our bath so we had to buy water at 15 pesos per gallon. We no longer washed our hair because water was too expensive and we had to keep some of our water resources from people because we might not have anything to drink anymore.

Eating from the cellophane itself. Haha. That was fun! No spoon and forks, just eat directly from the cellophane. We were like recipients of the pakaon sa barangay thing, we really look very kawawa that time.

Sleeping by the shore (almost) because there were no rooms to accommodate us. Good thing that the resort keeper gave us mats, pillows and blankets to sleep upon. Thanks guys.

Swimming from one boat to another boat. WOAH. Kakapoy talaga nun ba. And we shouldn't stop swimming because when we do, we would be dragged by the water current back to the original boat. haha. But still, we made it! Hooray for us.

And there's more!

One thing I learned (though out of the context) is that:

i need someone who can be totally honest with me

and one more:

Sino kasama ko nag-dinner nung friday? RJ or Wilson? haha:)) Face Warp could really be deceiving :D

before getting serious with a guy...

2.06.2009 @ 11:59 PM♥

he should know what he wants
Any guy you’re serious about should be able to articulate his long-term goals and passions (sorry, fantasy football and Xbox don’t count). He can’t ally himself with you until he has a sense of how he envisions his life in the future...and how you fit in. “If a man has no idea what he wants to be when he ‘grows up,’ then it will be impossible for him to commit to you,” says Dobransky.

Don’t assume he’ll work things out, because when he does, you may realize his ambitions don’t mesh with yours. “This mistake has contributed to the starter-marriage phenomenon, in which couples in their 20s and 30s suddenly realize they’re going in different directions and divorce at an early age,” says Dobransky. “It’s preventable as long as you’re both clear about your plans.”

he should have a sunny outlook on life
A recent study led by the University of Oregon found that women who had upbeat partners felt more satisfied in their relationships and — this is huge — that the man’s level of optimism determined the relationship’s staying power. Not only is it nice to have someone help you see the silver lining of a situation that totally sucks, but cheerful guys are good at keeping things in perspective, so they don’t let little conflicts get to them and can go with the flow.

Along with having an optimistic POV, it’s also crucial that the guy you’re seeing can make you laugh. “It’s an important stress valve for any couple,” says Les Parrott, PhD, coauthor of Trading Places.

“Having a sense of humor helps you weather the rough patches that you’ll inevitably encounter together.” It shows that he is able to let loose and doesn’t take things too seriously. Plus, you’ll have a better time together if you can see the funny side of things.

he is open to "changing for you"
It’s true you may not be able to change a man, but a guy should want to change for you. If a facet of his behavior irks you (for example, maybe he’s not attentive enough in certain circumstances), he should be game to hear you out, listen to how you’d like him to do things differently, and then act on those suggestions. “When a guy is truly in love, he is more self-reflective and will work on the aspects of himself that bother you,” says Diana Kirschner, PhD, author of Love in 90 Days. “Studies have found that successful married couples change each other quite a bit over time.”

More important, a man needs to have the capacity to transform and grow with you — e.g., he takes an interest in going to art galleries with you, even if he’s more of a couch-and- ESPN kind of guy. “If he’s not willing to expand his interests to mesh with yours, you’re going to outpace him,” explains Kirschner. “It’s likely you’ll grow restless, and the relationship will become stale.”

he would still be a little mysterious
The beginning of a relationship is always superexciting because you’re just getting to know each other. But even after the newness wears off, it’s essential that a man keeps you guessing. “If you can never quite pin down what makes him tick, that’s actually a healthy thing,” says Kirschner.

Although at first you might feel more bonded to a guy who shares tons of personal info with you, over time, you risk losing the intrigue that pulled you to him initially. You might start to see him as more of a friend than a romantic partner.

Of course, you want him to open up about topics like his family, but he should keep some boundaries too. Relating every detail of his life (think updates on his nasty toe fungus) is relationship-killing TIME. A good gauge in the early stages of coupledom: He doesn’t spill all about his pals. “It’s an indicator that he understands how to keep things private,” says Kirschner.

--just grabbed from a bulletin post in friendster. i think it's nice, so it's here:)

Another one, NOT RELATED WITH THE ARTICLE ABOVE, I just want to make it, uhm, official? haha. just to clear issues, it's here now guys:

What was his name?
was? it's still his name now..haha:)) RR Idoy

How old was he?
he was 18, now he is 19! haha. bat puro "was"?

When was his birthday?
october 11, 1989

What color was his hair?
black

What color were his eyes?
black (i suppose) hehe:P

What religion was he?
catholic ba?hehe. but i'm sure he is a christian:)

What was his favorite color?
hala! i'm dead here!haha. i'm guessing, red?

Any siblings?
yah.i forgot kung ilan sila exactly but I do know that he has a sister then marami sila boys.haha.

When did you two meet?
officially ay nung first bloc encounter but i think i met him during the physical and medical test for UP summer pa lang, but neither of us cared.haha.nyweiz, summer 2006 or june 2006.you decide:)

Who asked who out?
haha. i couldn't remember.matagal na un eh.haha.

Where was your first date?
di ko na rin maalala.haha:)) soreeee po:P

Where was your first kiss?
haha.san nga ba?haha.

Did you meet his parents?
yep2x.:)

If so, did they like you?
i don't know, i haven't asked him.haha.

Did you meet his family?
not all. but i do want to meet his sister:)

Did they like you?
di ko rin alam.haha. better yet ask him na lang:)

Did you like them?
oo naman.haha. i had no any reason to dislike them

What was your first impression of him?
he was someone that i don't think i would want to hang out. haha. bagag face!haha.

What common activities did you do together?
pumunta sa class?haha.

Name a song that reminded you of him?
You are the one by Serendipity (un ba ung kumanta nun?haha.)

How long were you two together?
lahat2x?haha. wait.*counts* 23 months.haha. pero may cut yan ha.haha:))

Do you share the same friends?
college friends? if yes, before, yes we have almost the same friends:D pero ngaun, iba2x na eh.

Name a song that makes you think of him NOW?
wala man.haha:))

Do you miss him?
minsan.haha.:P maka-miss ang company niya.haha.

When did you just know it was over?
*ehem* haha. para safe, last year:P

How serious was it?
basta, serious.haha.

DO you love him?
oo naman.kahit until now:

Did he give you anything?
yep2x:)

Did he cheat?
nope (i hope)

Did you?
define cheating please.haha. does transference count?haha.JOKE:D

Why were you attracted to him?
lingaw kasama:P

When you met, was it love at first sight?
no

DO you ever tell him you loved him?
yes

DO you mean it?
oo naman:)

Did he ever tell you he loved you?
oo rin

Do you think he mean it?
yes

What IS so great about him?
maraming bagay man.masyadong marami para i-enumerate.haha:))

What was the sweetest thing he ever did for you?
haha.wala akong maisip na event in particular:)

Did you cry?
kelan?

Did he?
kelan nga?

When was the last kiss?
last year dn?haha.

When was the last time you saw him?
just this week, i see him sa school eh.

Did he talk to you?
yah.hi/hello.haha.

Are you jealous?
dati, oo. pero ngaun, nasanay na lang siguro ako.:)

Do you regret ever dating?
nope

Did you cry over him?
before.haha.

Do you still think about him, HONESTLY?
sometimes

Do you think you'll date again?
kung friendly date, okay lang:)

Do you think he thinks of you?
siguro naman, oo.haha.

Do you think he still has feelings for you?
ask him.haha.

Why or why not?
ask him muna nga! ang kulet mo.haha

Can you see you two together again in the future?
i don't know.

Did you share anything special?
memories?haha. corneeeee but true:D

If he asked you out right now, what would your answer be?
antok na ako.haha:)) JOKE:D right now? it's 12:30 AM in my watch, okay lang siya?!

If you had one last chance to tell him ANYTHING, what would it be?
i'd tell him my self if that last chance comes:)


one thing i learned:
i need to lower down my EQ more if i want to be a doctor.. grey's anatomy still makes me cry :(

shucks..ka-heavy ng Grey's Anatomy 5 Season 12 and 13!!!

month(s)

2.03.2009 @ 8:10 PM♥

Why is this happening? Memories from past month(s) is haunting me! Why, oh why?!

This afternoon I fell asleep while I was watching TINKERBELL (Why again was I watching that movie?). Anyhow, I think it has something to do with my dream. I forgot what my dream was but I really think it had something to do with it. I am really sure! Because when I woke up, I was already holding that thought in my mind.

Sigh. Thought/memory, please get out of my head. I still need to study for my genetics exam tomorrow! I really need you to move on and realized that this happened month(s) ago. Please, just move on, I already did and I hope you would too.

Please?

bye social life

2.01.2009 @ 7:58 PM♥

I was browsing through my "readings" awhile ago and I realized that I should have started reading (and understanding) them already (especially genetics and biochem). Shucks. This is so horrifying. A couple of hell weeks once again and sandwiched in between are field trips (crap, more events to drain my body energy).

So, I am again beginning to get confused with life. I don't know where to start and what to prioritize. I have a feeling that one wrong move could kill my hopes of doing better next time.

And before I'd take a leave from my social life (don't worry, I might update my blog from time to time, most probably whenever I have something in my mind that I'd want to scream out), here's a survey from friendster answering questions of your first featured friend. However, I haven't placed featured friends in my account para wala masyadong issue.haha! So here it is, kayo na bahala decipher kung sino itong person na ito. :)

What's his/her full name?
-- ooops. di pede :)

Does he or she have a boyfriend?girlfriend?
-- i don't seem him/her being with one so most probably, wala.haha:) that's by 70% being true. haha.

Do you know a secret about him/her?
-- according to him/her, it is OUR secret. so yes, and I'm keeping it until the time I'll forget about it.

Is this person older than you?
-- nope.. I am older than this person by [insert number] of months. haha

Has he/she ever cooked for you?
-- for ME lang jud? wala man ata (i think) haha.

When was the last time you thought of him/her?
-- how about now?haha. alangan oi. I'm answering this survey because of this person.haha

Do you have a nickname for each other?
-- we call each other by the names we live by.. but I don't think that what we call each other (at times) is a valid nickname for the two of us.

How many times do you talk to this person in a week?
-- one thing for sure is that we talk during school days.haha. On how often, I don't count it.haha

Why is this person your number one?
-- i don't know, maybe because this person is special to me?haha.

Have you seen this person cry?
-- wala pa ata eh. but I do want to see this person cry (pero wag naman because of me) haha.

How long have you known this person?
-- medyo matagal-tagal na rin.haha

Have you ever been to the mall with this person?
-- oo naman!haha.

Have you ever had a sleep with him/her?
-- magkatabi pa!haha. pero no malice here.haha:))

If you ever moved away would you miss this person?
-- oo naman T_T

Have you ever given this person something?
-- yep2x.. CHRISTMAS GIFT!haha.. pede rin BDAY gift.haha:))

Have you ever done something really stupid with this person?
-- oo.haha:)) wholesome na stupid ha.

Have you ever made something with this person?
-- made something? like what?haha.

Do you know everything about this person?
-- nope.. di ako stalker oi.haha.i'm just a friend.haha

Do you know this person's shoe size?
-- nope..haha. but i have an estimated guess:)

Have you ever worn this person's clothes?
-- yep2x.haha:)) kasya eh.haha

Have you ever heard this person sing?
-- oo naman..un pa! haha

Have you and this person ever gotten into a fight that lasted more than 2 days?
-- ewan.haha. i'll think about it muna.haha

Have you and this person went clubbing?
-- not yet, but SOON. haha:))

Do you know how to make this person feel happy?
-- yep2x. i know what makes this person feel very happy :)

Do you and this person talk a lot?
-- kung may oras para mag-usap ng non-acads, yah.

Has this person yelled at you?
-- oo..when this person called out my attention.haha

Do you love this person?
-- of course! :)

Do you want to be with him/her forever?
-- i haven't reached that point yet.haha:) But I want to be with that person right now.haha:))

i never thought they existed

12:43 AM♥

I have never imagined that "some" people could actually "stalk" me and take videos of me at various situations. haha. Anong gagawin niya dun? Ikakalat then gagawan ng issue?! haha. I don't know if the person is a boy or a girl but I do want to know who that person is and tell him/her: "hey, why are you taking videos of me? what's the buzz!" haha. Or maybe simply make him/her realize that "hey, I know that you have been taking videos of me" haha:)) I hope that'll scare the hell out of him/her.

I have been through some issues in life already and I am proud to say I have withstand all of these. However, this is the first time that I knew that there is a determined person who wants to ruin my reputation. You know what, I don't care of whatever type of issues you wanted to spread out. I have FRIENDS who could testify of what is true or not :) Go and spread that video or picture or whatever that was and I swear, I could hunt you down for good, I have a friend who saw you doing that :P

Good luck with your life dude!:D
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July C.
UP Biology Student
soon to be a doctor
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