The upcoming exams (11 more to go as of today) had totally eaten up my time, my sleeping hours and my social life(?). Anyway, I still managed to sleep for at least eight hours a day (and damn you body system for sleeping much when you shouldn't be!) but swear, I am not, in any manner, freakin' happy about it.

Weekend. For the first time in weeks, I was able to celebrate a 3-day long weekend for my Mondays were always caught up in cheerdance practices and then it was followed by the MCB 1 Play, entitled Mikros, practices. So now, I am again back to our home, which unfortunately is not a conducive place to chill-ax. Our 15-year old residence is currently undergoing a renovation which left the entire space to be messy, dusty, and most of all NOISY. Imagine this: I was in the middle of my 5-minute power nap when suddenly ear-deafening noises were heard on my bedroom's CEILING! The only times I could study properly are lunch times (that's because the carpenters are busy feasting on their lunches) and night till dawn (when everyone else is asleep).

Saturday night. While I decided to take a break from memorizing botanical stuffy (andoecious, inflorescence, calyx, pistillate and many more - and oh, did you know that the Division Pinophyta consists of the thickest, largest, tallest and oldest trees in the world?! - I call them the BEST family.haha), anyway, let's go back to my story. There, I took a break from memorizing those weird at-least-3-syllabic-words, I heard voices which were so familiar to me. Noisy, screechy voices which were laughing and seems that it was under an intense, fun conversation. So, I checked out the window and saw that Ate Jaybee was already there.

I greeted her a belated Happy Birthday (she turned 20 something last Sept. 25). She gave out a thank you and suddenly ranted in front of me on how her brother ditched her at SM City Davao for his girlfriend. She kept on saying, "I really don't like here girlfriend na. It's not because galing siyang 'Pow-vei-duh', ganyan2x na siya. And take note, since late na si Jopet, nag-text ba naman ng 'tic-toc-tic-toc'?! The nerve?! Bantay lang iyan si Jopet, wala na siyang Christmas gift!" Well, uhm, just imagine those words had been said in less than 15 seconds, under a high-pitched tone of voice, standing up to a maximum volume, enough for neighbors three doors down could hear.

At least for a while, Ate Jaybee's company removed the anxieties I had been feeling. "Pagdating ko dito sa Davao, na-shock ko kay daghan na new buildings. Tas pag dating ko dito sa house niyo, I was like, wow, ito din oh!" Anyway, after two hours of listening to her Manila-life stories, I felt I need the need to go back to being botanical again but unfortunately, my energy were all combusted, so instead of continuing my study time, I slept (for the 4th time that day).

Anyway, I really have to move out of the laptop's and internet's periphery. These things always kept me out from doing the things that I'm supposed to do. Worst, after using the computer for about an hour, I feel sleepy. XET! 

Do I still need to explain myself? Do I still need to answer the questions which are bothering many people, friends and even those who really don't and would never care?

Mmmmm. "...those who really don't and would never care...", it bothers me.  I hate to talk about this issue in a blog but I can't find any other person who is mature and patient enough to understand what I truly feel.

I've been urging myself to stop lingering on this problem for I know, from the very start, it won't do me any good but still, I decided to pursue it.  It's the natural instincts fault: I see something attractive, knowing in the first place it'll be a burden to think more about it, then I fell for its trap and eventually, I now see myself stuck in this whole thing.  

And now, I realized, it is really a burden, a big problem.  I want to escape but I couldn't because passing through those prison rails embedded with thorns would leave me crying in pain and the hell I wouldn't want to do that.

There's only one thing that I could do and that is to sort all the keys presented right before me.  Sorting out and finding the real key to that lock will be the only thing that could rescue me from this agony but the lock is found outside of the cell!  This means, I still have to slip my arms through the prison bars in order to try out a key.  Then this would result to the torturing of my forearms which will eventually end up bruised and bleeding.

But I don't care.  After several bruise-and-bleeding sessions with the thorns, in the end, my hand would  be numb, not feeling if the thorns would still hurt.  And in the end, I'll be free and the hurt will also disappear.

So, could anyone help me find the right key? Would anyone care to find the solution to my problem?  If then, the problem is: 

Shucks. HELP!

We had games and inspirational talks from the PSALM faculty.
(hayan, mga group mates ko.. buntis na opaw :P)

We also had my most favorite part, the Praise and Worship! Yay!:)

Then, there was a part in the program list that says 'Testimony' and to my surprise, part pala ako dun! Tsk. Tsk. Mizpah talaga.

"sssssshhhhhh..."

"sure ako, when they're gone, I'll miss them,"

"i really want to tell her,"

"ha?"

"kasi they're too busy doing other things?"

"oo nga, wala nang mangungulit sa akin"

"bakit? di niya alam?"

"teary-eyed na..."

"pustahan tayo, mga 2 siguro ay no, make it one"

"kaya nga ang dinosaurs won't care about the mosquitoes eh"

"may something wrong, basta something kulang,"

"I treat him as a brother, as in kapatid, not brother-ish"

"anong connect?"

"ako, iiyak ako"

"hindi mo kasi dapat ini-expect eh"

"well, it's something to prove"

"siguro ito na ang pinaka-'expected' na experience on why you should cherish the moments"

"baka iniisip niya na pati ako inaagaw ang mahal niya sa kanya,"

"i'm just saying na baka masisira"

"maybe it's the other way around?"

"maka-buwisit gud sila tingnan"

"but still, pangit pa rin"

Obviously, it's a very unholy moment in the morning to a be awake, a moment when all people are supposedly be sleeping (that is if you live in the same date time as mine). Anyway, I had been 'studying' my mcb notes/lecture notes/slides just this morning and instead of worrying about how crappy it is to start so late in memorizing the non-english and i-don't-know-what-language-these-words-came-from-things, I ended up having fun with the things that I have been memorizing!

Other than that, while memorizing *slash* analyzing the different genotypic methods of classifying bacteria, I ended up realizing that a lot of terms such as the high-performance liquid chromatography, 16 S rRNA, soluble protein profiling and the like are just some of the methods which I could incorporate in my thesis! Yey! This one goes to my outline! :P

About my outline, I talked to Ma'am Talde yesterday and told her about the progression of my outline and I'm glad to say that by Monday, I'd be able to finish my outline! Yey again! and then, submit it on Tuesday. Yey once more!:)

I als had been thinking. I need to be more serious, as in MORE SERIOUS on my studies and whatever stuff. I need to get a GWA of at least, uhm, 2? Oh, it's for my med school scholarship. I just need to maintain my grades (pede pud increase para Cum Laude daw sa Bio ana sila Ma'am Fritz and Ma'am Mayang -- naks, nangarap daw oh). As for the cum laude stuff, I still need way too far to reach there, siguro ma-CL ko four times. Haha:)

I heard this song sa jeep kanina, and check out what it made me do: