I guess, it is really time to let go. It was just yesterday that I have accepted the fact that Sir Toto had gone before us. It was just yesterday that I realized that he already died and I won't be seeing him for a long time. And now is the time that I decided that I should say something about him for I wasn't able to write anything on the tarpaulins that were posted at the entrance of Herme's Room in Cosmopolitan. I do have a lot of things to say and I know hindi ito kakasya sa tarpaulin :)

The very first time I ever encountered Sir Toto personally was last March (or maybe April na) of 2008. I was at their house doing our Chem 17 project kasi groupmates kami ni Joie. It was already night time when we decided to wrap up our project and go home. When I went out of Joie's room, I saw him sitting on the couch. Then I gave him a shy hello :) I just passed by him and then sat down without saying a word. He broke the silence by asking me about something (I think it was about the major application thingy) and then we later talked about advisers and topics and other endless possibilities. And then I thought, "approachable man pala siya."

And when I was going out of their front door, I couldn't find the other pair of my slippers and then I suddenly blurted out "hala! asan ang isang tsinelas ko?" and he laughed, "ah wala, na-anod na iyon sa ulan! wala nang tsinelas ang isang paa mo pag-uwi mo.hahahaha" he was really laughing, I SWEAR! I gave him an annoyed and confused look and he just continued laughing and at the back of my mind all I would want to say to him was "unya, close ta?" Hay sir, ewan sa'yo. Haha!

After that, I have encountered him a lot of times. I asked him if he could be my co-adviser and he was very glad to say yes. Sometimes, if he catches me staring blankly into space outside CSM's lobby, he would approach to me and say "ba't parang ang lalim ata ng iniisip mo?" then he would start long conversations about molecular biology.

The last time I had a long conversation with him was last July 24, 2009 when we had a lunch break during Joie's DNA extraction. He told us a lot of stuff. Like iyong Japanese cups niya, that they were no ordinary tea cups but they have good purposes. The rims do not turn very hot in the presence of hot coffee but then the cup doesn't allow the coffee to turn cold quickly. And there were many more :D

Truly, his death is a loss to many.

1. I will surely miss his smile, especially his dimples :D (sir, gwapo man diay ka.hehe)
2. I will miss his jokes and hirits lalo na kung depressed ka. He really has his own way of making you asar pero in the end, mabawi niya ito by helping you in getting through your problem.
3. I will miss the times na mag-crawl2x ako while passing through his office lalo na kung may atraso ako sa kaniya bowt my thesis.
4. I will miss his daily question, "nahanap mo na iyong primers mo?"
5. Most of all, I will miss his all-time favorite question: "gusto ka ug kape? managape ta!"

Sir,

Though we weren't able to start formally working on my thesis, still you had taught me a lot about it through various moments. Sa DNA Extraction, if hindi mo kami ininvite sa extraction ni Joie, maybe I wouldn't have a glimpse on how to do it. If hindi mo ako ginulo-gulo one time sa lab, hindi ko malalaman kung paano gagawin ang aking mga primers. Thanks for the program na binigay mo. Though you are no longer to supervise me in my lab work, still karami mong inadvice sa akin and I know wala kang kulang na nasabi. All I have to do right now is to start and finish my method. Sa pag-write ng thesis, especially ng abstract at acknowledgement, thanks so much:

Ang professorial lecture mo! T_T Isa ako sa members ng iyong team! Excited pa naman akong gawin iyon. And super proud ako for you kasi it would be your moment to let everyone know that you have really achieved a lot! Pero ngayon, wala na :( But sir, tulad ng promise ni Marcel, Itutuloy namin ang Professorial Lecture mo someday :D PROMISE YAN :D Pag-iisipan muna namin kung papano. Hehe :)

Pero sir, thank you so much for everything. For the coffee, the biscuits, and juice. Sir, I forgot to tell you, masarap ka mag-timpla ng Milo. hehe :) Hahanap-hanapin ko talaga forever iyon :) Sir, have fun to wherever you are right now. I know you'll be out there constantly guiding us.

Basta, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING :D See you soon! :) :) :)

haha. bat ganito ang suot mo? haha :)) ka-cute oi :D

wow! with attitude jud?! :D

kengkoy jud oh! haha :)) ka-cute nio ni ate anette! haha :D

Just so to let everyone know, I have quit my job (just for a month or two) to give time for myself MORE. It seemed that I realized that I really couldn't manage every event that has been happening to me lately. I found out that I couldn't put my acads, cheerdance, job and everything else in between together. I know, I am not a superwoman and right now, I have no plans of becoming one. So I have come to decide to eliminate my job and give more time to SLEEP, the only comfort that I could ever want.


But recently, I have been very afraid of sleeping. A couple of my dreams were unpleasant. There was one that I jumped off from the roof of our house and never got the jitter to wake up while falling but I continued falling until I felt my whole body, face down, hitting the ground. GAWD! That was a near death experience!!! What if my subconscious decided to die? Will my conscious mind take an effort to revive me from that subconscious idea? Anyway, I woke up, but I was really shivering at that moment. Seriously. Maybe that dream explains why.

Anyway, life must go on and I must get more sleep. So yeah, I slept soundly for the past few days. I slept soundly even if bad news gotten in my way. I slept soundly even if I have to face that bad news to make me sleep. Nevertheless, I was able to sleep. Then I realized, that it wasn't really a bad news after all. It could have been a bad news before, but now, NOT ANYMORE.

Seriously, I could only be mad tonight. I will sleep in a few minutes, but tomorrow, I would already forget about it, including you. It was nice knowing you. Seriously, it was nice knowing you.